


give me your love, give me your heartbreak

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, Hidden Feelings, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Multi, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21985078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Donghyuck is marrying the love of his life and Mark shatters over and over again. Jaemin is always there to pick up the pieces, but no one ever knows or cares why.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck/Unnamed Female Character, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	give me your love, give me your heartbreak

Mark looks at himself from the mirror. His light blue tie is badly done, resting awry against his aching chest. Mark’s tempted to just leave it like that; it doesn’t matter anyway.

But he can’t. Because this isn’t about him, it never has been. And as the best man, he has duties. Duties that he hasn’t been carrying out very well.

All this time, he should have been with Donghyuck in the younger’s room, seeing that Donghyuck is doing okay, making sure that he has everything he needs and hyping over the fact that his best friend is getting married. But instead, Mark has been hiding in his room, trying to evade the inevitable heartbreak for as long as possible.

Though, who is he kidding. He’s been experiencing that heartbreak for the last four years at least. This shouldn’t be new to him. But somehow, it still feels worse than ever. Maybe it’s the fact that Mark finally has to accept that this is it. Donghyuck will never be his.

The younger never was. But Mark has always been good at holding on to every tiny shred of hope with tooth and nail to the very last moment.

He fixes his tie and then his hair, his shaking hands taking much more time than they should. Then he takes a deep breath, studying through the mirror the miserable expression on his face. He turns it to a smile instead. He has to smile, this is a happy day. Luckily, Mark has also always been good at faking smiles.

He finally exits his room and heads towards Donghyuck’s. The carpeting of the hotel hallway feels soft even under Mark’s dress shoes. Donghyuck’s room is few doors right from Mark’s. He knocks on the door.

Few seconds later the door is being opened. Mark is met with the sight of Donghyuck, the younger all dressed up, his hair done to soft waves and the subtle hints of his makeup almost invisible to the eye. He looks beautiful.

“Geez, Mark. Finally. What kind of bestman are you? I almost started to think you had somehow forgot that I'm getting married”, Donghyuck complains and then lets Mark inside. The older steps into to the room, but doesn’t go any further inside. There’s no point, they’re going to have to leave any moment now.

“Sorry”, Mark says sheepishly, “I... had trouble with my tie”, he tries to explain himself. Luckily, Donghyuck is way too occupied with his own thoughts to be really concentrating on Mark.

“Must be a hell of a tie...”, the younger muses, more so to himself, as he’s checking himself from the mirror, “Anyway, do I look okay? I mean I should, since my father was here for like two hours to make sure I did my hair and whatnot...”

“You look amazing. She won’t be able to take her eyes off of you the whole day”, Mark says, refering to Donghyuck’s bride.

“I sure hope so”, Donghyuck says, grinning as he turns around. 

Mark doesn’t want to ask, but he has to. He would be a bad bestman and especially a bad friend if he didn’t.

“Are you happy, Donghyuck?”

Now the younger’s grin turns into a soft, happy smile. The kind that holds a wide collection of strong emotions inside of it.

“I am”, he says, “I’m marrying the love of my life today”, the words come out almost unusually soft for Donghyuck.

Mark gives the younger a wide smile and pulls him into a hug, “I’m so happy for you”

Inside, Mark's heart is working hard, trying to keep itself from breaking into pieces against his ribcage.

  
It’s a horrible feeling. Standing close to Donghyuck on the altar, watching as he holds the hands of his bride and promises to love and cherish her forever. All Mark wants to do, is to truly be happy for Donghyuck. But he can’t and it’s tearing him apart.

Mark thinks about all the times when Donghyuck has had an argument with his girlfriend over the years. The younger would always come to Mark. He would drink his ass off and then proceed to cling onto Mark and drunkenly splutter how easy it would be if he and Mark just were a couple.

Mark guesses that those moments are the ones that have kept him so hung up on the younger. He let himself hope that maybe, just maybe Donghyuck would one day realize that Mark is the one who he wants. 

But life isn’t some romantic comedy. Donghyuck doesn’t one day wake up realizing that Mark is the one who has always been there for him and that he’s been in love with the older all along.

Jaemin is standing next to Mark on the altar, being one of the groomsmen as well. When the priest declares the couple as husband and wife, Jaemin takes Mark’s hand in his. Just for a second, giving it a comforting squeeze, before letting go again before someone notices.

Jaemin knows. He’s the only person who knows about Mark’s feelings for Donghyuck. Mark is forever thankful to Jaemin for always being there to pick up the pieces whenever Donghyuck unknowingly shatters Mark. 

Jaemin must think that Mark is pathetic. He’s never indicated that way, but Mark feels so pathetic that Jaemin must think so too. But it’s just so hard to let go of a person Mark’s been in love with ever since they were just scrawny teenagers. He’s never been strong enough to distance himself even for the time that it would take to get rid of the feelings. 

Donghyuck has that strong power over Mark, but he older doesn’t blame him. Donghyuck doesn’t know and Mark is just weak.

  
After the ceremony it’s time for the wedding celebration. The guests get to congratulate and hug the celebrated couple and then it’s time for the dinner, speeches and eventually dancing.

Mark hugs Donghyuck's wife first, draping his arms around her petite torso to an almost brotherly hug. They’ve known for a long time and she’s actually an important person to Mark too. When Mark’s own feelings don’t cloud his mind, he thinks that she’s the best thing that could have happened to Donghyuck.

Hugging Donghyuck is the same time as familiar as ever, but also so different. Mark can smell the perfume on the younger, but underneath it, there’s the scent that’s just Donghyuck. It takes Mark back to those long summer nights spent with the younger, lying right next to each other on the grass, under the stars, when Mark still thought that anything is possible.

Now Donghyuck is right here, but he’s also slipping through Mark’s fingers, floating slowly further away. And the older wants to keep trying to hold on, but he finally knows that he can’t. It’s not fair to him, to Donghyuck or to Donghyuck’s wife.

Mark swore to himself that he would stay strong tonight. Because it’s not about him, it never has been. It’s about Donghyuck and the fact that Mark is the younger’s best friend who he wants to have beside him on his special day.

But Mark is having a hard time breathing. The shattered pieces of his heart are puncturing tiny holes to his lungs, and he’s having a hard time breathing.

Mark rushes past the guests of the wedding and out of the ballroom. He finds the closest bathroom and gets inside one of the stalls. The tears gush out of his eyes the moment the lock has quietly made a clicking noise after being turned.

Mark lets the tears fall freely, but he tries to keep the sobs from escaping his lips. Someone might be on the other stalls and Mark doesn’t want to be heard. 

It hurts. Mark isn’t sure anymore if it’s the fact that Donghyuck doesn’t love him back, or the fact that he finally has to let go of something he’s been so accustomed of holding onto, but it hurts.

“Mark?” someone suddenly asks. Mark startles, he hadn’t heard anyone coming into the bathroom. It takes him couple of seconds to realize that the one talking is Jaemin.

For a moment, the older is tempted to just try to act like he isn’t there, but he’s pretty sure it would be pointless. Jaemin probably saw him escaping the ballroom.

“Yeah?” Mark says weakly and dries his eyes to the sleeve of his dress shirt.

“Can you open the door?” Jaemin’s tone is soft, the hints of sadness and desperation hiding in the layers of carefully crafted comfort and familiarity.

Mark turns the lock and Jaemin opens the door. Then the younger closes it behind himself and kneels in front of Mark who’s sitting on the toilet seat. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Mark is almost sure he can see Jaemin’s eyes mirroring the same deep sadness that his own eyes do.

Then Jaemin leans closer and wraps his arms around Mark. The older instinctively hugs him back, pressing his wet face against the collar of Jaemin’s suit. Jaemin lifts his hand to run his fingers through the hair on the back of Mark’s head.

“You’ve got to distance yourself from Donghyuck enough to let go of your feelings for him”, the younger then says. Now his tone has turned into serious, not giving Mark any room for discussion.

“You’ve got to stop doing this to yourself”, Jaemin then whispers after a moment. He realizes that he's one to talk, but Mark doesn’t need to know that.

“I know”, Mark says, “I will. I think that I’ve finally realized that I have to”

They break the hug and Jaemin wipes the last remainings of tears from Mark’s cheeks.

“Good”, the younger then says, “You’re way too good for him anyway”, he smiles slightly.

Mark snorts a little, all wet and ugly due to the crying, “Yeah, I wish”

“It’s true”, Jaemin whispers then, sincerity coloring the words. But the whisper is so quiet, that the older isn’t able to catch it. Jaemin moves to stand up.

“Are you up to going back to the party?” he asks Mark then.

Mark knows he should. But he really doesn’t feel like he can. His whole body, inside out, aches and all he wants to do is go to sleep and evade the world for a while. He shakes his head.

“That’s fine. We’ll say that you weren’t feeling well and had to go lay down. You know Donghyuck, he’ll be upset for a while, but forgets it soon”, Jaemin says.

Then the younger offers his hand to Mark and says, “Come on, I’ll see you to your room”

Mark takes Jaemin’s hand and smiles a little, “Thank you, Jaemin”, he then whispers.

The older is still little too much in his own head to notice the pain and the familiar longing in Jaemin’s eyes, badly covered by the eye-catching smile of his,

“Anytime”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
